Mom reveals her ‘penis’ scale to find ‘the one’ – New York Post | Directory Mayhem

Mom of two Rubi Nicholas is in love thanks to PENISES.

But no, her budding romance with a man less than half her age wasn’t based on a fondness for male genitalia.

Rather, it’s based on a 7-point scale that Nicholas, 52, created in 2020 for himself and other dates in pursuit of “the one.” And her method measures the physical, emotional, nutritional, intellectual, social, economic and spiritual similarities she shares with her 25-year-old partner Zane, whom she met on Hinge in August.

“PENISE are the seven essential elements of your life, which should align with your long-term partner’s,” Nicholas, a stand-up comedian and occupational therapist from central Pennsylvania, told The Post, adding that her lover has a “seven- Out” is out of seven.”

Nicholas, 52, created a scale called PENISES based on the seven most important areas of her life.
Ruby Nicholas

“This scale is primarily about knowing yourself [before getting entering a relationship] and to clearly identify who you are, what you like and what you don’t like,” she explained.

Nicholas, who said she is a member of the high-IQ society Mensa, said daters should casually bring up their PENISE in conversations early in a relationship.

“It’s a great way to determine if you’re compatible with someone before you settle down with them,” she said.

In 2006, Nicholas, an occupational therapist, won $50,000 and was crowned 1st place winner "Funniest Mom in America" on Nickelodeon.
In 2006, Nicholas, an occupational therapist, won $50,000 and was named “America’s Funniest Mom” ​​on Nickelodeon.
Ruby Nicholas

For Nicholas, a divorcee who won the 2006 Nickelodeon hunt for “Funniest Mom in America,” the “P” that stands for “physical” in PENISES has always been paramount.

“I have a high libido and I want to make sure my partner can handle how often I want to have sex,” she said. “When it comes to the physical aspect of a relationship, you should be honest about how often you want sex, or as I like to say, ‘What’s your sex rate?’ ”

And even if two potential partners aren’t a perfect match for PENISES, Nicholas said connecting in at least four of the seven could be the foundation of a healthy and lasting romance.

According to Nicholas' scale, PENISES represents the physical, emotional, nutritional, intellectual, social, economic, and spiritual needs of every person in a relationship.
According to Nicholas’ scale, PENISES is an acronym representing the physical, emotional, nutritional, intellectual, social, economic, and spiritual needs of each person in a relationship.
Ruby Nicholas

Here’s a breakdown of Nicholas’ penises.


Aside from feeling a strong physical attraction to a potential suitor, Nicholas says it’s crucial to be open about your sex drive early in a relationship. “Ask yourself, ‘How often do I need to have sex?’ and once you figure that out, be honest with who you’re dating,” she said. And under their system, it’s just as important to make sure you live close enough to your significant other to get your sexual needs met. “If you need it seven nights a week, make sure you date someone who thinks the same way and lives in the same area code,” she advised. “If you’re good at having sex once a month, then make sure you and your partner agree on that.”


According to Nicholas, an emotional relationship with a friend begins with understanding how to express your own feelings. “You really need to know who you are emotionally and how you process things and express your feelings,” she says, noting that emotional intelligence can help you communicate your feelings successfully. She also suggests that partners discuss what makes them feel emotionally safe, whether it be kind words, sweet gestures, or gifts.


“Eating is a big part of how you live and what you do in terms of grocery shopping, cooking, dieting, takeout and dining out,” says Nicholas. And based on their scale, nutritional compatibility can make or break a romantic relationship. “Ask yourself, ‘How central is food in my world?’ or ‘Am I a glutton, someone who loves to feed loved ones, or an eater, someone who enjoyed being fed?’ This can help determine if you and your love are on the same page.”

Nicholas believes her 7-point scale has helped her develop a healthy and loving relationship with her current boyfriend.
Nicholas believes her 7-point scale has helped her develop a healthy and loving relationship with her current boyfriend.
Ruby Nicholas


Rather than focusing on a person’s educational achievements, or lack thereof, Nicholas suggests making sure you and your parents are thinking, communicating, and understanding things at a similar pace. “Unmatched intellect is so frustrating for the person who struggles to process and so boring for the person who processes quickly,” she said. “But it’s okay if you’re intellectually stronger than your partner in one area and weaker where they’re very strong. That makes you both compatible.”


Also when dating, it is important to determine whether you are an extrovert or an introvert and whether you want a partner who identifies the same or the opposite. “It’s a proven quality you know about yourself,” Nicholas said. “Are you a couch potato who loves to read, or a nightclub party animal?” And once you understand how you identify socially, you may be better able to choose a partner with a complementary style. “Respecting and accepting these social boundaries from one another is extremely important for lasting success.”


Money, and how to make, spend, and save it, is an important topic to address in the early stages of dating, Nicholas says. “You want to make sure that you and your partner have the same financial goals and long-term lifestyle,” she said, noting that this point is especially important for people who are dating with the intention of getting married. “Have conversations about your goals and the financial foundations it takes to achieve those things,” she continued. “Would you like to live in a nice house or fly to Ibiza on jets? Both have different costs.”


Nicholas, a member of the Muslim faith, challenges dates to decide if spirituality is important to them. “Ask yourself, ‘How strong is a universal power or structured religion in my life from a functional presence?’ ” She said. And for those planning to tie the knot in the near future, she suggests making sure your partner is consistent with your religious beliefs. “Long term, if you decide to bring children into the flock, do you want your children to be part of the religion then? Do you think it is important that children grow up with shared values ​​that are rooted in the religion?” She said. “Talking about it upfront can save you both a lot of trouble in the future .”

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